Are you in a relation/friendship? Desiring one? Ending one? or perhaps you are too busy for one right now.
It is a universal hope of all humanity to have in our relations with one an other the elements of warmth, understanding, compassion, respect and truth.

Difficulties can occur when we find ourselves in relationships or looking for a relationship to fill a lack or need in ourselves. It's common for people to be attracted to that which they themselves lack. There is nothing inherently wrong with this attraction except when the lack is related to their self-esteem for example if we are seeking to feel fulfilled and complete by an other or others.

“Be Yourself” is loving advice we sometimes give to young people, to others in our lives maybe during challenging times or in interview situations etc but do we consider what being ourselves entails:

To be yourself: You have to accept who you are?

Know where you want to go in your life?

Live your life by design not default. " Just be yourself, there is no one better" Taylor Swift

Do you have a picture of what is going on in your life right now in regards to yourself and your relationships with others? 

Consider your present or last relationship in the light of these questions:

Is it something you are happy or proud of/with?

Are you giving more than you take?

Are you taking more than you give?

Are you a crutch for someone?

Is someone being a crutch for you?

These questions may help you to not only consider your importance in your own life but clarify what's going on in your life right now. They can also help highlight areas of your life that you may like to focus on :

Do I need more confidence? 

Do I need develop deeper feelings of self-worth?

Do I need a new relationship that works for me?

Do I need to stop attracting people who drain/toxic to me?

If not, then these are things we can be very grateful for but if you or someone you know is not feeling so good about certain aspects of their lives then there are strategies/tools that they can use to help bring about some desired changes.
  
You can start by first feeling a completeness in yourself and then share it with others. To achieve this feeling try taking responsibility for each and every decision you are making in your own life. All events and reactions to them lead on to making choices. These choices lead us to the point in our lives where we are right now. Every choice whether it's what we eat, what we say, what we think or what we do is leading us to or away from our dream friendships, relationships, way of life etc ...
" A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. You are responsible for your life,and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make".  Denis Waitley

It is really difficult once we become aware of the power of the choices we make in our life because it means we have a responsibility to start taking charge and being in control.

This is never easy because we have to acknowledge that where we are now is a direct result of all the choices that we have ever made.

The difference is from now on we can choose how to react when and if we make mistakes.

* That means taking responsibility, learning from it, moving on, no more blame games, deal with it.

Or

* Blame yourself and everyone around you and keep suffering and hurting.

So what can you do to move forward in living a life worthy of you and your dreams?

One step is by claiming your own power in personally asserting that

* Everything about me is just fine.

* From now on I fully embrace my power and live the life I choose to live.

* By doing so, I will draw to meet people who honour and respect me for who I am.

* I am a complete person and I allow complete people into my life.

* I am fully determined to move forward with all of my dreams and live as an example of what others can be.

* I help people by honouring myself, by accepting only goodness and love into my life.

* I am kind to myself.

* I respect myself.
 
" You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with ".  Wayne W Dyer
    


Wishing you a good week.

MaryJo x

Happiness is a gift.  It is a gift we give to ourselves.  It is wrapped up with our beliefs, our faith and our self confidence.  It is a gift we can wish to others but to truly feel happy, we have to know it for ourselves.

"Most folks are about as happy as they make up their mind to be." Abraham Lincoln.

Being happy is something you either believe you are or you believe that you are not.  It is a unique, personal state of being, of feeling.  
"Happiness is when you think what you say, and what you do are in harmony". Mahatma Gandhi.
It is generally accepted that the aim of mankind is to be happy.  
"We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different yet the same".  Anne Frank 

We even prefix the important occasions in our lives with the word happy; Happy birthday, mother's/father's day, Christmas, National holidays etc.  Being happy is a state that not only do we wish to express to others but we want to feel all of the time.  Apart from wishing this gift to others we want to believe that it is true not only for others but for ourselves too.  Belief in ourselves, having confidence helps us towards our own level of happiness.  The Bible states that "All things are possible to him that believes".  You can tell what you really believe to be true for yourself in what you do, what you say and what you achieve or not.  Our outer world mirrors our inner world.  Experts claim that 95% or more of what we do, say and think is determined by environmental and psychological influences that surround us.  

We need to become aware of the power of our own and others positive and negative words on our thoughts.  Kind words lift us up, harsh words make us feel low.  To feel confident we need to become aware of our ability to choose our responses to these influences.  We can take control of what we allow into our minds that can add to our ease and our peace and ensure that it is consistent with the things we want and the person we want to be.  
"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today.  I can choose which it shall be.  Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.  I have just one day, today and I'm going to be happy in it". Groucho Marx.

I'm going to leave you this week with a simple yet powerful story I heard Brian Tracy tell, which simply illustrates a point of how our inner beliefs, our level of confidence can subsequently affect our ability to be happy.  Remember, the world will readily accept you at your own estimations and what you believe that you can or cannot do determines your reality.
"To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to one's family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one's own mind.  If a man can control his mind he can find a way to enlightenment and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him".  Buddha.


Here's the story I promised. It's about a man whose business was in a lot of trouble. He was so unhappy. He had lost some big sales and was in deep debt and his suppliers, creditors were closing in on him.   He didn't know whether  he should continue struggling or declare bankruptcy.  He decided to go for a walk one evening in the Park to think it over and decide what was the next thing to do.  In the Park as he was standing on a small bridge looking down at the water, an older man appeared out of the dark and seeing the businessman's downcast look, the older man stopped and asked him what was the matter.  For some reason the businessman poured out how unhappy he was, all his financial problems, how his business was collapsing and even though it was a good business with good potential he just did not know what to do next!  The older man listened intently and then said "I think I can help you".  He took a cheque book out of his pocket, asked the man his name and wrote out a cheque for him. He pushed the cheque into the businessman's hand and said "take this money and meet me here exactly one year from today and you can pay me back at that time".  Then the older man turned and disappeared back into the darkness.  When the businessman returned to his office he opened the cheque and found that it was for $500,000.  The signature read John D. Rockefeller. He'd received a cheque for half a million dollars from the richest man in the world at that time!

At first the businessman thought that he'd cash the cheque but instead he put it into his safe, knowing that he could draw on it at any time.  He thought he would use this knowledge to deal more confidently with the suppliers and creditors to turn his business around.  So with renewed enthusiasm he plunged back into his business making deals, negotiating settlements and making several large sales.  Within a few months his business was booming, he was out of debt and making money.  

One year later he went back to the bridge in the Park. He was so happy and  excited that he could hardly wait to tell the older man what had happened.  Exactly at the agreed upon time the older man emerged from the darkness once more.  Just as the businessman was about to give him back his cheque and tell him all about his story of success and achievement over the previous 12 months, a nurse came running out of the darkness up to the old man and grabbed his arm.  She apologised to the businessman saying "I'm so glad I caught him, I hope he hasn't been bothering you, he is always escaping from the rest home and going around telling people that he's John D. Rockefeller."   She took the old man's arm and led him away.  

The businessman just stood there, stunned.   

All year long he had been happily wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, building his business with a calm, confident knowledge that he had a $5000,000 cheque in his safe that he could cash at any time.  It suddenly dawned on him, that he had actually made his business successful based on this belief.  Even though the information upon which his belief was based, was false, it had been his self confidence in action that was responsible for the turnaround in his affairs and his sense of happiness with himself and his life.  

This week can you give yourself a gift of happiness?  Can you create a belief and the self confidence that supports this to be true for you?
"I learned that the real creator was my Inner Self, the Shakti ... That you desire to do something is God inside talking through us." Michelle Shea

Enjoy your week, thank you.

Mary Jo xxx